Following a viral abortion announcement, parents of children with special needs offer a different perspective.
On June 3, YouTuber Jesse Ridgway broadcast the news of his wife Ashley’s abortion procedure. The reason for their decision was that test results had indicated the baby was likely to have Down syndrome.
Coverage followed the heated online discussions and numerous expressions of shock and heartbreak from the life-affirming community.
Many have noted the seemingly callous and self-centered attitude of Ridgway, who informed followers they had chosen abortion because of the challenges they would face with having a special needs child.
“It will take a little time to move on, but we are excited to try again in the future and hopefully have a better outcome,” Ridgway stated.
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Two of the many moms of special needs children who reacted to his announcement through heartfelt posts of their own, Carli and Jenna, talked with Pregnancy Help News.
Carli’s son Matthew is ten months old and has Down syndrome, and Jenna’s daughter Julianna has special needs that exceed those of most individuals with Down syndrome.
Carli acknowledged the sorrow of hearing news about your child’s potential health issues.
“When we first learned that Matthew had Down syndrome, I’ll admit, I cried,” she stated. “But NEVER have I ever thought about terminating my pregnancy all because my baby had an Extra Chromosome and the health issues he may be born with.”
Carli’s three pregnancies have been difficult. Her first son, Chase, was born prematurely, and his twin sibling did not survive. Carli’s second pregnancy with twins ended in miscarriage.
While carrying Matthew, Carli was treated as a high-risk pregnancy given her history. She had early testing at five weeks to screen for any potential issues and blood testing at 14 weeks, which revealed she was at a high risk for Trisomy 21.
When the doctor gave the news and indicated they had options, Carli responded, “Well, there is no option. We’re going to go through with this.”
She admitted she was upset because, as she noted, no one wants to hear that their child may have health issues.
“My husband looked at me and said, ‘What’s the problem?’ He’s like, ‘That baby will be raised no different than how we are raising Chase.’” Carli recalled the assurance her husband provided.
An amniocentesis procedure confirmed that her baby had Down syndrome. Matthew was born at just shy of 39 weeks of gestation with two small holes in his heart.
Had Ridgway provided that type of support to his wife, Ashley, they could have experienced the joy that Carli and so many parents are testifying to in response to their public abortion decision.
Carli recalled feeling such outrage and wondering, “Why would they do this?” It made her cry.
“Every child born with Down syndrome is still a human being and deserves every bit of love, life, care, and respect as any other child born into this world,” Carli wrote in response.
Tweet This: Every child born with Down syndrome is still a human being and deserves every bit of love, life, care, and respect as any other child born into this world.
“I look at Matthew, and I see how much love and silliness he has already at almost 10 months old. I see how strong that little boy is, and it makes my heart so happy to see him thriving and growing!”
Photo of Matthew with Down syndrome smiling at 10 months old, courtesy of Carli
“When I read it,” Carli said regarding the Ridgway post, “I was shocked. In reading further, you know how they said they ‘hoped for a better outcome’ and basically that people with Down syndrome are a ‘glitch’—they’re not a glitch. They’re human beings.”
She posted on Facebook, “Matthew is my ‘better outcome’ after losing a pair of twins the year prior to getting pregnant with him. I will hold both my boys tight as I continue to wonder why there are people out there who don’t give their babies a chance at life and to see how truly amazing they are!”
Screenshot of Carli's Facebook post responding to Ridgway's announcement.
“Having Matthew, finding out his diagnosis—he is the light of our lives!” Carli exclaimed. “He is the happiest, go-luckiest 10-month-old. I wouldn’t change it for the world.”
She further noted the huge support from the Down syndrome community, “It is ridiculous. I mean, it is amazingly ridiculous.”
Chase adores his baby brother. Carli recalled him stating, “Momma, I don’t love you, I love baby Matthew. I’m like, okay, I can’t be too mad at that I guess.” She laughed as she shared all the ways Chase interacts with Matthew.
“Both of my boys are absolute blessings. Down syndrome is not what defines Matthew,” Carli explained. “But I think just because he does have that diagnosis, he just fills a little extra space—he’s my little buddy.”
Photo of Chase and Matthew brothers celebrating life with Down syndrome, courtesy of Carli
Another mom, Jenna, shared publicly about her daughter’s diagnosis.
Jenna’s daughter, Julianna, similarly affects her own family, as Jenna wrote on Facebook, “I cannot measure the abundance of joy and fulfillment it has given me to be Julianna’s mom. I have learned more from Julianna than I’ll ever teach her.”
When Julianna was born, she had to have two open-heart surgeries. She has developmental delays, poor muscle tone, is non-verbal, and non-ambulatory. The Ridgway post shocked Jenna who found herself to be both angry and heartbroken for them at the same time.
“It is clear you’ve been lied to beyond measure if you were told to believe that killing your child was the best and right decision for your family.”
Jenna added, “You say, ‘thankfully, we had a choice.’ Your baby had no choice. Your baby was stuck inside Ashley’s womb, which should be the safest place for a developing baby to be, with nowhere else to go. My soul is sick at the trauma your baby endured.”
Tweet This: You say, ‘thankfully, we had a choice.’ Your baby had no choice.
To their touting this as the most beneficial choice for their family, Jenna added, “That baby WAS your family.”
Jenna told Pregnancy Help News that she and her family believe so deeply that Julianna was “Created on purpose for a purpose. She has given us the ability to see the beauty in the Lord’s creation in ways we would not see it without her.”
Julianna has enriched their lives in every way and brought them all closer to the Lord.
“She has given me more understanding about what truly matters in life than any other person aside from my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ,” Jenna shared. “And for her sake, I simply will not keep silent on this.”
Photo of Jenna and her daughter Julianna with special needs, courtesy of Jenna
Jenna’s heart breaks for the Ridgways, whom she sees as having believed a lie, and she hopes their hearts are softened to realize how grave a mistake they have made so that they can use their platform to promote the value and gift of life.
Carli wanted to share with others who have Down syndrome or special needs children who may have been hurt by the Ridgway posting, “Just know you’re not the only ones, there’s a whole community out there who feels the same way and we’re in it together. You can’t just let one couple and their decision ruin it. Just know that you look at your baby and your family at the end of the day, and that’s all that matters.”
As she posted, “Matthew holds that extra space in my heart and I wouldn’t want our lives any other way.”
Editor's Note: PrenatalDiagnosis.org, offers information, assistance, and support for families who receive a prenatal diagnosis.
